I’m aware that you, the reader, know that I am real. A real life person, existing in nothing but reality. Let’s begin with that understanding.
I’m most likely late to the game, but this past year I downloaded a walkie talkie app and I use it with 2-4 mom friends. I have given up hope that my own free moments will ever line up with the free moments of some of my closest friends. These are some busy ladies. Some working, some surrounded by chaos at multiple turns in the day, some trapped in a prison of silence, not able to use their own voice for risk of waking up all of the slumbering people that were just lulled to sleep by 30 minutes of driving, but maybe…just maybe, she can hold a phone to her ear and listen to her pal expound on what’s going on in her own day. I’m just not at a place in my life that allows for a lot of unbroken moments of communication. As a dear friend once put it, “Its like listening to a pod cast…of your friend.”
So anyway, I’m sitting on the couch next to Chris, he’s casually studying some gigantic text book full of life saving tidbits and medication administering pointers. The kids are all in bed. I pick up my phone and listen to Mia give me the down-low on her day. The kids, nap-time, tantrums, her well being at the end of another shift/day/week…depending on when we last checked in on each other . I guess you could call it “caring about each others souls”…if it needs a title. I respond to her previous message with tales of my own. A toddler who only wants to wear his older brothers basketball t shirt, quarrels over origami creations left to be trampled, maybe I even mention the many times I’ve “Taken away the basement”, because they refuse to keep it free of trampled food.
At some point I sensed what felt like an eye roll from the man, but Chris doesn’t do that. With Chris its more of a posture, but its been 20 years that I’ve sat beside him so I know what he’s saying.
“What?” I ask him.
“Nothing.” He lies.
“It’s something.” I’m right.
“I guess I just don’t think people wanna hear all the dribble drabble…”
He puts into words what I knew he was saying but that I couldn’t have articulated as well. He’s a kind, loving, considerate man and he doesn’t mince words. He listens to the dribble drabble from me because he signed up for it. He helped me to create this dribble…that drabbles on…and on…and on. But he could never imagine anyone outside our immediate scope wanting to hear about it.
“Are you aware that all my life is at this point…is dribble drabble?”
If you are in a relationship with me at this time in my life then you are aware that I have little else to offer than the hum-drum, the day-in and day-out, the dribble, with a side of drabble.
Sometimes I imagine what the opposite of the dribble drabble is. Im aware that these are the “milestones”. The things that you’re actually excited or eager or possibly dreading telling someone else. So here is a list I’ve complied of milestones versus the dribble drabble. Enjoy!
We’re getting married! vs. I have to spend 600 dollars to repair my engagement ring because I punched a door jam while I was running to assist an injured child.
I’m Pregnant! vs I was startled awake by the kids fighting over the last of the cream cheese.
We’re Getting A Pet! vs. That cat that I adopted got sick and ruined my most favorite piece of vintage furniture of all time and will now cost more than the sofa did to cure.
I was arrested! vs. I got in a verbal scuffle with a cranky old man in a grocery store parking lot and at the end it didn’t really feel like either of us was the winner.
I’m getting a divorce! vs. I woke up in the middle of the night and the room smelt like farts and I wanted to get mad but quickly realized I wasn’t sure if it was him or me.
We bought a house! vs. We’ve never wanted to live ELSEWHERE more, but we’re hunkering down and investing in ourselves and therefore hoping to give our children more than a spacious home and some nice things.
We’re going to Europe! vs. The holiday parade was cancelled, now what are we gonna do with ourselves.
I’m going to jail! vs. What do I have to do to get myself a night in jail!
We went out last night! vs. We were in bed and asleep at 8:30 last night, like a couple of actual senior citizens.
He graduated from nursing school! vs. Nope. Still in it to win it! Feels like the longest, hardest thing a family of 8 might ever do…support one of their own while they do that which they would be more likely to fail at than to succeed.
We bought a new vehicle! vs. Both our cars that are paid off…are WORTHLESS to us! One doesn’t fit us all and the other is in the shop!
I went and saw such and such new movie! vs. HAHAHAHA! Nope, just been watching Thomas the Tank Engine and whatever weird YouTube vids the middle schoolers are into at the moment.
So here’s the deal. If you’re giving a child, or six children an adequate foundation upon which to build a healthy, thriving existence, then chances are that your life is FULL of DRIBBLE DRABBLE. You might even have some dreams that you’ve placed on the back burner until a time when people are less needful of your full and immediate attention. There are no doubt times in your day when you feel bored, lonely, frustrated, sad even. But take heart, my fellow mother! Our calling is a sacred and coveted one! You are shaping the future of our world with the love and care of your priceless roommates. And if you have found yourself in the position to have an encouraging and long-suffering friend on the other end of a walkie talkie connection, Damn it! Don’t be afraid to S.O.S. when you need to! Or just exchange the dribble drabble.
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